Rose's grandma also died Friday morning. The call from Mexico came during her graduation ceremony from Massage School. By afternoon we booked a flight for her mom to Aguas Calientes in time for the funeral and dropped her off at the airport. With so much happening and hours of crying, Rose's whole body was flustered and hot and when our friend Jenn Rice offered her a wonderful massage. Within hours contractions started. Her water broke while calling the midwife at 10:45pm. There was puking, bleeding, crying, sobbing, and everything coming out of everywhere. We got in the tub, out of the tub. Her legs and whole body were spasm-ing. Then we would see the head; then it would disappear again. When her body opened to let the baby out I could see internal organs, the thick muscles of the pelvic floor, and also blood. It was fascinating, mesmerizing, emotional, and visceral. When I close my eyes the birth canal is still frightening and powerful.

Rose was giving up; "Barbara, take it out of me!" She was exhausted, falling asleep between contractions, totally listless. The midwife said, "You've got to do this on your own." We realized it was a right of passage, a journey into the unknown for her and for us both. "Come on momma bear, push that baby out," Barbara said, calm every step of the way. Rose found her strength somehow and kept going. I was exhausted too; at times I fell asleep with Rose's body on top of me, even during full contractions with moaning and screaming and clawing.

Finally the baby's head came out. The next few moments were crucial. Exhausted Rose got on hands and knees for the final pushing. The shoulder was stuck; I looked over and saw a big cone shaped head sticking out of Rose's body that looked like an alien. The baby was completely blue. It was an emotional moment and so much was happening I started to cry. Then suddenly I saw a little girl on the bed under Rose. She was still blue and Barbara, our midwife, was reviving her. Her color returned and she was pink and beautiful. She opened her little blue eyes immediately.

The baby was here. There was blood everywhere. Between everyone involved I felt like it was a giant game of twister with arms and legs everywhere too. I cut the chord. Finally the placenta came - like a big black and blue blob with the umbilical chord attached and amniotic sack intact. The midwife's assistant blew up the sac like a bubble and checked for rips and tears. The placenta was whole and healthy. Rose had lost a lot of blood, was pale, dizzy, and hearing noises. But she was okay.

My sister Jenn has been an angel and my parents and everyone supportive. They taught Rose how to nurse, change and wrap the baby. Meeting the baby is like meeting an old friend - it all feels somehow strangely familiar and obvious even though we're still learning the mechanics of changing and dressing her. Rose is like a momma bear - calm, loving, gentle, open and beautiful. She's taking little walks with a very sore pelvis from the bedroom to the kitchen.

With a whole lifetime to come ...