AYURVEDA PERSPECTIVE ON RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

Vata tendency in relationships is characterized by a lighthearted and pleasant personality, but can also be erratic and chaotic. In an attempt to avoid pain, Vata individuals tend to make impulsive choices. Their main goal should be to stay focused enough for follow through.

Pitta tendency in relationships is marked by smart, analytical individuals who have difficulty ignoring faults and problems, which can be uncomfortable for other constitutions. Instead of hyperfocusing on solving particular issues, they benefit greatly from a practice of appreciating others. Pitta individuals need to focus on winning hearts, not arguments, and avoid losing sight of the big picture.

Kapha tendency in relationships is peaceful and patient, but may ignore problems that need to be solved. In situations of conflict, Kapha individuals tend to withdraw and may experience depression, unresolved anxiety, and feelings of oppression. Their main goal should be to lean into discomfort and address problems head-on.

Building Trust

• You / Your Feelings / Your Understanding - This is more individualistic, but less reliable.
• Some objective standard - This is less individualistic, but two people can unite according to a standard. This also allows a person to grow into something greater than themselves.

Harmony in Marriage

Feminine individuals want to be cherished. They value direct emotional investment in the children and the individuals themselves. They crave support and appreciation from their spouse in domestic chores and homemaking.

Each spouse should contemplate the means to satisfy these emotional needs in the other on a daily basis. This should include both appreciation and supportive involvement in these activities.

Divide responsibilities rather than sharing them. Studies show this improves marital harmony. Familes where only one spouse is responsibile for providing an income tend to enjoy happier marriages than two income families, for example. This doesn't exclude spouses from supporting one another in their designated responsibilities - but it does mean deferring to and helping them in this area. In another example, one spouse may be reponsible for cooking meals, but this doesn't exclude the other spouse from helping with meals.

Praying together daily gives both spouses an intimate window into the deepest desires and purposes and the person they love - as well as connecting and harmonizing them to the source of all things.

My wife and I greatly benefit from the very inspiring book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by author John Gottman. One of our favorite activities in the book was building a Love Map.

By following these guidelines, you can increase harmony in your relationships and enjoy the many benefits of marriage.